All Hail the Soccer Mom

Seriously. You have no idea. (Unless you happen to be a soccer mom, that is).

Yesterday, in the 100 degree humidity that has engulfed our poor state (along with a few others from what I see on TV) I had a list of things to do. It was a relatively small list: take bean to camp at 9, fill out HR paperwork at Hospice, Pick Bean up by noon, work for a few hours, haircut, work, Andie's house for final baby shower planning. Not bad, right?

Because of the heat, every time we left the car we'd go from sort of cool to hothothot and then into the icy air of our destination. Then back to hothothot and then into the car, which was HOTTERHOTTERHOTTER until the a/c could catch up, which was usually about the time we arrived at our next destination.

Here's how it actually worked:
9:00 Bean to camp.
9:15 Arrive at Hospice sweaty because it's already in the upper 80's and the a/c has a lot of heat and car to compete with. Brush hair furiously and search back of car for clean paper napkins so I don't arrive in the nice HR lady's office looking like I just got done at the gym (as if!)
9:30 Nice HR lady finally has time to see me. Spend ten minutes signing my name to various contracts.
9:35 Nice HR lady says, "Now you have to go for your drug test." I say, "Okay" trying to look innocent without looking like I'm trying to look innocent. I am innocent, but there is something about that kind of thing that makes me feel like I've done something really wrong. She says, "Do you know where the hospital is downtown?" I say, "Yes, I do." She says, "Good. The building you want is just down from there. It's the white building with the parking lit next to it." "No problem."
10:00 Finally get downtown, past the trains that run through the middle of the city several times a day. EVERY SINGLE BUILDING around the hospital is white. I looked for one without any words on it and finally found the right one.
10:30 Leave feeling sort of dirty. It's hotter now and I'm sweaty and I'm starting to feel like maybe there's something not quite right with my bladder. Call doctor's office and beg for an appointment that will fit in my schedule. Offer to see anyone - ask if the janitorial staff can write prescriptions. In the "good old days" I would get that not so nice feeling, leave a message for my doctor and in a few hours a prescription would appear at Walgreens. Now the insurance companies get twitchy about that. I don't get it. I know what a bladder infection feels like. Anyone who has had more than one knows what it feels like. I don't think I should have to waste my doctor's time! They can fit me in at 3:45. Bless them.
10:45 Get to work, start downloading the evening's shows, check email, spend about 30 minutes filling in for Andie so that she can go to a meeting. Glasses place calls, Bean's glasses are ready. Mentally add that to the "to do" list.
11:45 Leave work, pick up Bean and head to the salon. Mom calls and says that there are skirts on sale, if I pick some out she'll buy them. I tell her I'll try to get there today. (Mom works in a hospital that has a gift shop that sells all kinds of things you wouldn't expect to find in a hospital gift shop).
12:20 Arrive, talk to the receptionist (the owner's daughter, I've known her since she was a little older than Bean is now), she brings me a diet Dr. Pepper - which elevates her to goddess level.
1:30 Bean and I have new haircuts and are cooled down significantly due to our hour rest at the salon. Head to the eyeglass place. Realize halfway there that I forgot to pay for my haircut (we were talking), promise to come back by this afternoon and mentally add that to my "to do" list.
2:00 Leave eyeglass place - her glasses look SO cute with her little haircut. She's all funky and cool now. Head across the street to our favorite bookstore/cafe for sandwiches and iced tea. Bean starts whining that she wants to go home. I think about what we have going on for the rest of the day and I sigh. We are starting to get a glimpse of Bean at Thirteen - sullen and uncommunicative.
2:45 Head toward the hospital, call mom, arrange to meet outside her office. Bean is seriously flagging by now. Her sandwich was not "big enough" and she didn't like her soup. Plus, I ran into one of my favorite english professors and spent a few minutes catching up and talking about books (she agrees with me about how poorly written most biographies are - score!!). Bean sulked at the table - not in a snotty "smack the crap out of you if you don't knock it off", more like a quiet "she might be shy or tired" kind of way - but I knew what she meant.
3:15 Leave the hospital (ran into some of mom's co-workers and talked with them for awhile. Bean's patience is thin. Tissue thin. But god love her, on the outside she looks serene and polite. Run home, grab her gameboy and drivedrivedrive to the west side of town.
3:45 Arrive (on time and starting to cool off) at the doctor's office. Wait. Feel very glad that Bean and I both have books to read and feel sort of relieved that there is a wait because it means we can sit in the same, air conditioned place for more than 5 minutes.
3:55 Get weighed. Cry a little on the inside and think about the diet I'm ignoring and the exercising I don't have the energy to fit in. Feel bad about myself.
4:20 Leave the doctor's office. Drive back to work, stopping by the salon to drop off a check and the pharmacy to drop off my prescriptions.
7:05 Leave work, stop by pharmacy, drive to Andie's house. Andie and Kerri and Andie's husband are sitting on the front porch. (?!?) It's 97 degrees and humid and they're sitting outside. Bean looked at me like I was totally insane. "Want to go home," she whine/whispered. I sent her inside to watch TV. We talked for awhile outside for about an hour (2 beers), went inside for a bit and then went to dinner.
10:30 Arrive at home. Bean made a beeline for her bedroom, I made a beeline for my bedroom, we both changed into clean, cool pj's. Bean went to bed, I had a cigarette with the husband (who had a much rougher, more frustrating day than I did) and went to bed.

Some people have days like that every day. I'm glad I'm not one of those people. I like my long periods of inactivity!!