Ughity Ugh

Still not sleeping well.

What's a girl to do? I don't want to start monkeying around with my medications (though I know at least one of you got the advice from me to not be afraid to talk to your doctor about a higher or different dose during the time in which you are healing from... you know... emotional trauma). I know that this malaise is normal and there is no pill that is going to substitute for time and distance. On the other hand, this not sleeping thing is making me extra tired and punchy - when I am already tired and punchy.
Ugh.

Bean and I went to an intake appointment yesterday at a program designed to help kids move through stages of grief... and there is also an adult group. We start in a few weeks. I think we are doing fine, and I know it takes time, but I just want to make sure we are addressing any issues that I'm not catching.

She was in full-on teen mode last night. Holy cats. She is blaming it on PMS, but I can see that I will, indeed, be blessed with a child just like me. Thanks, mom.
I told her dad something that she didn't want him to know... and she was in the car with me. I glanced in the rear view mirror and saw this look of shock and hate on her face and said, "Oh shit, your daughter is piiiiiiiiiiiiissed at me." He laughed and said, "Good luck with that!" (He's usually the one she's pissed at).

Then we went to dinner with my parents and we were sort of making a little bit of fun at the fact that she has now seen the movie 23 and is convinced that everything really does come down to that number (I thought the answer was 42, but I'm old. What do I know?). So my parents - OK, my DAD - was like, "I bet there are 23 people in the kitchen," and "Are there 23 grains of rice left yet?" And on and on ad nauseam.

On the way home she admitted she was really mad at me. Apparently this "23" obsession is her "hobby" and she doesn't make fun of my knitting so I shouldn't make fun of her. I said, "Point taken, I'm sorry."

To my credit, I did not apologize to her 23 times.

Tonight a very bad man (who is actually a very good man) is going to make dinner for us.
And then hopefully I will be able to sleep.