I smell purple.

As in, I can smell purple, and also I smell like purple. Because I am an idiot.

I have been a little, um, down. I know this is shocking to you as I have been hiding it so well. So last night I decided that I needed to have purple hair. Yup. Purple. Not all of my hair, just enough of it to feel better but not so much that you'd say, "what the hell is that fat girl doing with purple hair?!?" More like if my hair moved in just the right way you'd see a glimpse of the dyed hair under the brown hair and think, "Is that... purple?"

So I went to the store and bought Kool-aid and mixed it with developer and spent twenty-five minutes trying not to drip on anything. I rinsed it out and it dried and my hair was... TA-DAAAAA!!! Not purple. Not at all. Not any different in any way. Except that now it smells like grape Kool-aid, which doesn't actually smell grape. It just smells, well, purple.

You'd think I would give up. You'd think that I would sigh and say, "well, it was a good dream, but I am essentially a soccer mom and should have soccer mom hair." Fuck that.

I may not go the Manic Panic route but mark my words: I will have purple hair. Oh yes, I will have purple hair.