Decisions

A friend of mine got some bad news last night and now she is facing some difficult decisions. They are decisions similar to ones I had to make seven years ago... so I have a relatively good idea about what she's going through. It sucks. All of it. While I won't discuss the particulars, I will say that in my experience there are some things that remain true about this kind of situation:

It is just at those moments when you are emotionally incapable of making major life decisions that you are called upon to make major life decisions. That is just the way it is. I think that there are some times when the answer to "what the hell am I going to do?" is easier to answer than we think. The answer is right there waiting for us to reach out and make the leap to it. Finding that answer - especially when it is right in front of us causes us to necessarily act on that answer. Sometimes it is the action that must necessarily follow our decisions that makes it difficult for us to find.

When finding the answer is not easy, when there are too many "what ifs," and when the pro and con lists are balanced you just have to wait it out.

And that sucks too.

You will be ok. No matter what happens or what you decide you will live through it. There will be days when you don't necessarily want to survive it but you will and you will navigate through and come out on the other side stronger and wiser and somewhat damaged but ok. You will learn from this and you will move on in whatever direction you choose, but you will be fine.

Your friends will either rally and circle the wagons or scatter like ash. Who rallies and who scatters may surprise you. (I will be your head cheerleader, by the way, but then you already knew that, didn't you?) People will try to tell you what to do, what to choose. There will be a division along camp lines and it will be tempting to just fall into the opinions of others. That might be ok... but it also might not. I will not tell you what you should decide. I will support you no matter what you decide is best. Listen for those words from others, they are important.

The trick is to take care of yourself, to make sure you're staying physically healthy and active. The trick is to surround yourself with as many positive influences as you can.
The trick is to let yourself get really quiet and then you will know what must be done and you will have the strength to do it.