I need this on a t-shirt. Or on cards I can distribute. Or a sign for my front door that also says "Keep Out."
Maybe I should knit it into a blanket.
Maybe I should knit a blanket and crawl under it and never come back out. It's still too early to call about the car... I really hope it's not something horribly expensive. I also hope they don't say something like, "Well, ma'am, your fuel gauge is broken and you're actually just out of gas." Which is worse, broke or stupid?

I think that today my best plan of action is to just try not to break anything else.

***********************UPDATE****************************

So the Pep Boys called. Guess what's wrong with my car? Nothing.
There is some kind of switch that turns off the fuel line that is usually in the trunk. (No exploded car if you happen to get rear-ended). Apparently in my car it's on the passenger side in the front seat.
Huh.
So it's an inexpensive fix... Yay me! Let's hope the rest of the day is as happy!!