Unwanted

Pounds:
You know those horrible commercials for Mucinex where a big glob of phlegm moves in? The Phlegm looks like this big, green, fat blue collar guy, complete with the stained wife beater t-shirt and smelly cigar. I think that my fat cells are like that. I picture them looking like the huge women in those really horrible Krispy Kreme calendars that were circulating online for awhile - spilling out of their skimpy clothes, bad hair and really bad makeup. They're laughing and acting drunk and stupid. And they're multiplying. I hate them. They should have more self respect than that.
I'm eating graham crackers for breakfast this morning and when I get home I'll probably tackle the box of chocolate I got for Mother's Day. It's not that I don't know that there are more appropriate things to eat and that if I don't start working out again I'll end up just like those women in the calendars. It's just that I am unimpressed by diet food and unwilling to learn new coping methods. If weight causes depression and depression causes increased consumption of comfort foods where does it end? I should have more self respect than that.

Hair:
I made an appointment to get electrolysis. I know that part of this hair issue is PCOS. Part of everything in my life is PCOS. It's why I'm tired all the time and why I get so many migraines and why my hormones are too busy staging a revival of "CATS" to regulate themselves. But this hair issue has gotten out of hand. My work spouse says "but they're blonde and you can't see them." True. Unless the light hits a certain way and then I look like a Jellicle Cat myself. The blonde hairs are no longer baby fine and invisible. They're wiry and pokey. And some of them are no longer blonde. My husband says "I don't even notice them." Sweet, really, and I appreciate the thought but first of all, his facial hair is full and thick and comparatively, no I don't have much hair. Compared to a girl though...well, that's another story.
So I'm going to get it zapped. It will probably take every cent I have to make sure it all goes but I have to think it's worth it. (Stay tuned to hear all about it on June 2nd).

Anger:
What do we do with all of the anger that builds up over a day? What happens to all of those things that we don't say? Is the anger we feel toward someone else different than the anger we feel toward ourselves? Which one is most destructive?
What do we do about the sadness that comes when we realize that the anger has split us in two separate but living pieces and that there isn't anything we can do to fix it? What happens when there just isn't anything left to say?