Steady as she goes

Yesterday I wore cute but ridiculous shoes that had a high wedge heel. Today I'm wearing a skinned knee and elbow from falling thanks to the ridiculous shoes. Oh, and both ankles are sore and swollen. I fell once - on my ass. In front of people. You've seen the footage of the crashing of the Hindenburg - it was like that but not so much fire. There is nothing in the world less graceful than a fat girl stumbling on heels, at least there were no small children around for me to crush. And I didn't have a chance to go home and change shoes, so last night I stopped for gas (and managed to get out of there for less than $50 - wowie) and my other ankle rolled and I almost fell again. Fucking shoes. Not wearing those again, don't care how cute they are. And above and beyond the embarrassment of falling (on my ass) there is the stiffness in my back and neck that results directly from a thirty-year-old fat body falling. Yeah, yeah, "thirty is not that old" say all of my supportive (and older, hmmm) friends, but today thirty feels pretty fucking old. (Oooh, there's that f-word again.)
I have quite the potty-mouth. It's not necessarily something I'm proud of but sometimes only the word "fuck" conveys the tone I'm looking for. A woman I don't know very well (but like very much) works at a local bookstore. Apparently she has a "FUCK" sign that she wears on her forehead in her office on particularly bad days. The other people at the book store know to stay away when she's wearing her sign. I love that. I would copy that if my office had walls instead of that open, shared space thing we have going on. And if there weren't people who would be so offended that they would actually call human resources and complain.
So today I'll knit for awhile (really need to start the second teacher-appreciation sock. Last day of school is THURSDAY). And at noon I'll go pick Beanie up from her dad and then we'll go visit my dad (who is in a rehabilitation hospital now. His hip is healing pretty well from what I understand and I only feel a little guilty for not visiting yesterday). Then I really do need a nap today. Really. Do. Need. Nap.
Seriously.