Schadenfreud Pie

Sally and Lara and Andie and Kerri all came over Wednesday night to knit... and at one point we were talking about schadenfreud, and discussing whether or not it is really evil if the people who are suffering are bad people who have done bad things to you. Sort of a delightful karmic theater. I don't think that's evil at all... and if the victim was someone who first hurt you and you are not the cause of their misery.
And really? I think that finding someone's comeuppance amusing is a much less evil emotion than schadenfreud is meant to be. To me the key bits are the unexpected happiness and the maliciousness.
It's all so complicated.
Sigh.
But I googled it today to see what other bloggers had to say about it (because I am bored and there is nothing else to amuse me) and I came up with this entry for Schadenfreud Pie which I find completely lovely.

I am totally going to make that.

But not today.

Last night I weighed in for the Twist Losers Club. In front of people. And the number was not a surprise to me... I weigh in every Thursday (nakedly and privately) at home. The surprising thing was that after I wrote down my starting weight I couldn't stop crying. I felt really repulsive and out of control... because really? I should have taken this step a long time ago. And before Jeff I was working out almost every day and eating better and since my wedding day I have gained more weight than I wanted to admit in public.

But I did.

There is no magic in these numbers. No judgment from these friends. But somehow letting other people know the numbers made me feel like I would suddenly be less valuable to them. Really? Just less valuable to myself. I'm working on that.
In a fit of irrationality I also could not figure out why That Bad, Bad Man wanted to spend any time with me at all... and rather than stewing on that irrational thinking all night I asked him.

And he was supportive and lovely.
And he said the right things.
And if he's not careful he's going to be renamed That Good and Loving Man.