Warm Heart, Cold Shower

So I had a fabulous time last night. Lots of food and good conversation... and Sex and the City... It was grand.
I went home after, opened a bottle of red wine and read for an hour or so and then I went to bed.

This morning I got up to get a glass of water and spend a lovely day lounging around before I had to leave for work and from the laundry room I could hear a dripping that sounded all together bad.
And it was.

My hot water heater had transformed overnight from a water "heater" to a water "fountain." Now I'm not one to step on anyone's dreams or anything, and if you feel deep inside that you were meant for greater things then go out into the world and make that happen. Out in the world. OUT in the world. If you were born a fountain trapped inside a heater make that transformation on your own time, in your own house and leave mine out of it. Thank you.

I called my daddy who told me where to find the "make the water stop lever" and said he'd be over tomorrow to take care of it.

Love you, daddy.

So there was a lot of water on the floor. Water and dryer lint and kitty litter and cardboard boxes. It was not pretty.

I had myself a good, old fashioned single-girl breakdown, full-out sobbing for a good 30 minutes. Honestly, isn't this what boys are FOR?!? Aren't they supposed to be the ones to fix these things just so that we don't have to? (I know the answer is no. Of the two worthless men I married the only one who would have had ANY idea what to do is the first one... and he would have just called That Bad Man and asked him what to do).

So I put on work clothes. (Stop laughing I do too own work clothes. They're just usually known as my "too depressed to move clothes" so you probably haven't seen them).

Here's a tip: if you don't own a shop vac... well, get one for crying out loud... but if you're faced with a flood like this before you make it to Sears for your new shop vac use blankets instead of towels for sopping it up. Seriously. Towels go all wet and limp and then you've still got gallons of water and wet towels. Blankets can sop up a lot of water - then you put them in the washing machine, spin 'em dry for a few minutes and then toss 'em back on the floor. Trust me on this one.

So I got the water up, spun my blankets then washed them while I cleaned the floor and moved stuff and cleaned the floor some more. Two hours of this. Ugh.
Y'all know how much I looooooove me some hard work and sweating and dirty stuff. And also how fond I am of cleaning.

Then I had to clean myself.
In a house with no hot water.
There was no screaming. There may have been some gasping and sputtering, because DAMN! But my hair and body are clean, there is no more water on the floor and my daddy is having "his guy" bring me a brand-spanking-new water heater tomorrow.

No more cold showers for me!