I should just stick to blogging about knitting. That's not so hard, right?!? Just keep the stupid blog focused on KNITTING. I even have a FO to show off... but I did not bring my camera with me so you're stuck with the ongoing saga of my terminal marriage.
I will try not to be too dramatic.
Last night my husband asked me if I was going to go after his parents' money if we got divorced. Whatever. Even if they were both gone and the money was actually HIS I wouldn't want any part of it. Money is not my goal.
He was angry last night again... and he kept bouncing back and forth between accusing me of not taking our vows seriously and telling me I was giving him ultimatums and then trying to be tender and make compromises. It was quite a performance. He reminded me of a ten-year-old who is unhappy with the fact that his mother is punishing him and tries alternately to force her and then cajole her to comfort him. I don't want to be his mother-figure and I certainly am not in any kind of mood to comfort him.
I wonder if it's too late. I wonder if I could even muster the energy to deal with him if he does consent to counseling. I wonder if I am really just done and hoping that he will refuse the conditions so that I can walk away without being the bad guy.
I just don't believe him anymore. I don't think that he is lying to me... I think that he is lying to himself. I think he honestly believes all of the crap he says.
Wow. That sure sounds like I'm done, doesn't it?
We belong in the "Can This Marriage Be Saved?" column. I never believed those. I was always convinced that the couple would be much better off if they divorced. Like the ones where the men were sleeping around and the women had completely lost interest in sex, or the ones where the wife was angry all the time and the husband was spending all of his time playing golf... I always thought those people would be better off with a fresh start. Maybe I should have thought of that before I got married again, huh? Maybe I'm just not the "marrying kind."
Wednesday, September 26, 2007
...And why am I in this handbasket??
Posted by J. Denae at 11:34 AM
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2 comments:
Dear NPLVR,
Your husband doesn't sound as if his negotiation skills are very strong. And seriously, how could you go after his parents' money?
Marriages can recover from some very difficult things, but both people have to be willing to work on it. That's what your so-called ultimatum is about. You want him to participate in the marriage or stop pretending.
I'd be angry too if he weren't taking that request seriously. Geez. I need to tell your husband a few things. I'm getting all het-up.
Just remember, I love you and your knitting.
Crazily yours,
SK
The first time I thought I should leave my then-husband, my first son was 6 months old. Every time after that, when I decided to leave, he would threaten me with the kids. So, I stayed until after the first one graduated from high school. (This son later told me he wished I hadn't stayed 'for the kids'.) Once I decided that it really did need to end, it took me about three years to actually make it happen. Not fun.
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