Did you miss me??

I feel like I've been gone for weeks and weeks. I took a few days "off" after the drive. "Off" meaning I only had to go to class and practicum and I am only working 20 hours this week. Most of those hours are on the weekend so I was only at work for about an hour a day. I spent the rest of my time at the new house working and at the old house sleeping and watching judge shows. I have missed daytime tv, but if I had to be home with it all day every day I would probably lose my mind.

SO... did I remember to bring my camera to post pictures? Nope. This morning I was lucky to remember to get dressed.
Have I finished painting? Ummmmm.... noooooooo. I've painted 3/4 of my bedroom - I know, I wasn't even planning to paint that room... I'll get into that in a minute. And I've painted, like, 1/3 of the living room. It's looking pretty damn pink. I know that I wanted a warm beige-y color and I know that the last time I painted a living room a warm beige-y color and it looked really pink until we got our furniture in. But it's pretty damn pink. And it's going to take more than one coat. Not happy about that at all. I'm in the "paint it and move on" frame of mind. Oh, and I'm not done sanding the places where my dad patched it... I got home yesterday feeling like I had been licking drywall all afternoon, and I can still smell the dust. Bleh.
And the dining room?? Well, we got the stupid wallpaper down and we washed the walls and then I painted it white to see how bad it looked. It's pretty bad. I sanded it a little bit yesterday, but, um, it's pretty bad. Dad's plan (apparently) is to put a layer of drywall mud over it, sand it down and paint it. I'm good with that...
So way did I paint the bedroom?? dad kept saying "we" weren't done in the living room and I didn't know what else to do. I took the week "off" specifically to work at the house and I couldn't get a straight answer from him about what still neeed to be done. Until Thursday afternoon. Thursday afternoon he said I could start on the living room, I just needed to sand down the patched places. Shit, Roy.
So today after work I'm going to finish the bedroom walls and try for real progress in the living room and dining room. I hope that's not pink, too!

So I had a little meltdown yesterday. Compared to how I feel it was a fairly minor one... I am getting really frustrated with my husband. He's under a lot of stress. I know that. His father is dying (stage 4 lung cancer) and his mother is crazytown (borderline personality disorder) and his job is sucking the life from him. He also is having some dental issues and generally feels like crap most of the time.
Me? I am a person of action. I look at what I don't like and I fix what can be fixed so that I can more fully deal with what can't. There is nothing at all he can do about his dad. It's a sad situation and he is a huge source of support for his parents, but there is not a lot he can really do. But the job? Gone. I would have found another job a way long time ago. Dental issues? Go to the fricking dentist, right? Even if you are pathologically afraid of dentists, at some point put on your big girl pants and go, right?
Him? He complains about it all. And does nothing. He takes time off from work when they let him (all the time) so his paychecks are getting smaller and smaller. He won't quit - he's never actually quit a job before. And he's never been fired. The handful of places he worked before the station went out of business while he worked there and the station was a contract thing. He has also never really looked for a job before - it's always been a "friend of a friend is looking" type of thing. So he's not looking for a new job, just complaining about and not really working at the one he has.
And is the house packed?
Nope.
Is he working at the new house?
Nope.
Why not?!?
Because "He's never done this before so he doesn't know how."
Seriously.
So I have been giving him lists of stuff he can do and he gets one or two things from the list done and feels really good about himself. Then I come home and either do the rest of the stuff on the list or say "oh fuck it" and go to bed.

So yesterday he says, "Maybe I just won't go to work today, then they'll have to fire me and I can look for another job." When he says stuff like that I want to hit him. Really hard. With something big and pokey. And usually that sort of thing would ignite my inner bitch and she would flame out on his ass... but with all of the stuff he's going through I try to just deal with it and move on.

It has occurred to me that he is going through the stuff we all go through in our mid-20's. Stuck in this rut of hate-my-job-but-don't-know-what-to-do-with-my-life. It has also occurred to me that his mother is so nuts and their family is so enmeshed that emotionally he might just be 15. This whole marriage/family/house thing was not in his five-year plan five years ago. Fine. But we just bought a house and I am stressed out (and stretched out) as far as I can be and still keep it together and I need HELP!!

So yesterday I flamed a little... low flame. I simmered. And when I got back to the house from painting and he was there (instead of at work) I thought about killing him but did not. He was packing boxes of books. Good boy. Now do that eleventy-billion more times and we'll be good to go!

The movers are coming on Monday the 20th at 8:00 am. That gives us two weeks and one day to have most of the packing done. The movers are coming to handle the big stuff - and as many boxes as they can do in the time I'm allowing. It's $80 an hour - I'm shooting for three hours - four at most. You know, with all of our extra money.
Jeez.