Just a little self-pity vent...

You know that fiber supplement that can be sprinkled in any food? Do you think they'll ever make xanax in that form?
It's funny that I can deal with the big things... the classes and the new house and the Hospice and the job. I can handle the dying father in law and the husband who is so, so completely lost. I can handle the sister who is screwing up her life and who also happens to hate me. I can handle the migraines that make me vulnerable and helpless. I can handle all of these things and I can handle them all at the same time, but the thing that set me off today - the thing that is making me cry and want to crawl into bed and not ever get up was the fact that my daughter's hair was in a pony tail when I picked her up from school. That's all. A pony tail.
She has rarely ever let me do anything to her hair. Since she was a small child. I can put stuff in her hair and three hours later it's gone. I gave up. Her hair is short now - has been for most of her life, if only because she won't stand for stuff in her hair. But today she had her hair in a pony tail.
Because her step-mother put it up this morning. And her step-mother is "so good at fixing hair." And her step-mother thinks her hair looks good up. And her step-mother is going to help her learn to do it herself. And her step-mother thinks she should put her hair up more often to "train" it. Isn't her step-mother smart? And fun??
I don't know why I bother to speak at all. I should just email the step-mother and have her say stuff.
Oh and also, yesterday my boss was mad at me and I don't know why. She wouldn't look at me, would barely speak to me and when she had to walk by me she walked so fast it looked like she was in training for some kind of race. Today she spoke to me if I spoke to her first, but more or less acted like nothing happened. A few weeks ago she told me she didn't think I was handling all of the stress in my life very well. I was sort of surprised - I honestly feel like I am juggling pretty well. She said she feels like my "head" is in Hospice and that I am basically just phoning in my performance at the station. This is after I got a raise, after the best pledge drive we've ever had and after I have worked seven days a week for most of the past year. After I have worked every weekend for as long as I can remember. This is after repeated promises that "someone" else would learn the automation so that I would actually be able to take an entire week off. Or a day.
Not a big deal if my boss was not also my best friend.
So my sister hates me, my kid has severe "mention-itis" about the idiot step-mother, and my relationship with my best friend is weird.
The holidays this year are going to ROCK!

I'm going to take another dose of my migraine medicine, half a xanax and then I'm going to eat a Twinkie.
And sleep.