Just can't deal

I got up this morning with the start of a headache and a little (lot) of lingering blues. I have a feeling that this sadness is just the start of the winter blues. Super. I got to Hospice in time for the meeting, but rather than a regular meeting we had a "grief counseling" session. The grief counselor shared a story about his daughter who got cancer and died just after her first birthday. Then he wanted us to share our grief with the group.
Seriously.
Hospice is a big family, and I've been there long enough to get to know people and feel comfortable in the group... but I do not feel comfortable crying uncontrollably alone right now, let alone in a group of people I work with.
Seriously.
I sat there for the almost two hours it lasted and then I booked out of there. I was supposed to visit a couple of patients and do some paperwork. I just had to leave.
I got to the station and got the computer situation under control and was actually feeling more in control...
Then Bean called. Apparently she has an ear infection and tonsillitis. She said she feels ok, just sort of tired. The idiot step-mother said they were going to go home and have soup and snuggle down on the couch. Perfect, right? Except that it makes me feel crappy. When she's sick - especially when she's sick - she should be with me. Of course, it makes much more sense for her to be home with the parent who doesn't work, especially when she's already there... but it's just more of the idiot step mother doing the things I should be doing. I know it's better all around that she has a step-mother who is good with her and can care for her like that.
So I'm going to pick her up tomorrow. If she's feeling better.
More work... ate lunch... head kept hurting.
The engineer caught me crying in the production room and for the rest of the day kept giving me that "are you ok" look.
Head kept hurting.
Got home late and the husband's stupid friend was at the house. Perfect. (Pound, pound, pound).
The husband followed me into the bedroom and kept asking me if I'm ok. No. I'm not ok. I have a whopper of a headache that has been resistant to the medication I've been taking. I had a day full of little annoying things that I have been completely overreacting to and I have a big case of the holiday blues. I have a (messy) house full of crap that has to be cleaned, boxed and moved in the next few days and absolutely no drive to do any of it. I have a sick kid who is being taken care of (probably better than I could right now) by a woman I don't want anywhere near her. I have no money and a list of crap to buy for the house - including a refrigerator.

I would run away but I don't have the energy to pack a bag.

I need to figure out what to do for dinner and then I'm going to my friend Kerri's house for some Bachelor and What About Brian and knitting. That I'm actually looking forward to.

I need an attitude adjustment, an exercise regime I can stick to, more sleep and more hours in the day.