Better

Last night was lovely and relaxing - Bean and That Bad, Bad Man and I ate steaks and watched a movie called Fido... it cracked me up.

I went to bed late because after he left Bean and I had a long, long, long, long talk about Jeff/Bartleby and school and boys and bad, bad men and our future. She was upset because she is afraid that things will end badly and we'll all be hurt again. It's an understandable fear. I told her that trust was scary and that there is no way to know how things will turn out. I said that I hoped that she is learning that you can have your life turned upside down and your heart broken and still land on your feet. That what gets you through difficulty is a good support system. That even though it is scary, hope is vital.

And then I stole a line directly from my most favorite girl movie of all, Steel Magnolias. "I would rather have thirty minutes of wonderful than a lifetime of nothing special."

We talked about whether we would go back in time and take Jeff out of our lives if we could. She decided that it was worth it to keep him despite the ending because the good times were so good. I said that I thought applied to other people and events as well.

There is no way to tell if That Bad, Bad Man is going to be around tomorrow or next month or ten years from now. Even if we both sustained head trauma and forgot how much we don't want to get married - marriage is no more of a guarantee than anything else. I think that you have to just take the time you have and make it the best that you can. I think that love and happiness are always worth the risk.

Life happens, things change. He might leave. Or I might. And that would hurt and there would be some unpleasantness... but life would still go on.

I told her that you have to assign your happiness to yourself.

I recognize her fears because they are also mine. Telling her things that are true and also comforting reminded me to be comforted too.