I Enjoy Being a Girl...

This has been a fantastic day.

I had lunch with Sally and Andie and then we all went and got manicures and (gasp) pedicures. I don't know if you know this about me, but I have this weird thing about my toes.

I can NOT stand to have anything touching the tips of my toes. It's a weird thing and it's been a problem since I was a baby. When I was little my parents would literally have to hold me down to clip my nails. Now I cut them when I absolutely have to, and as quickly as possible.

So Sally and Andie wanted pedicures and I said, "I'll meet you there later for a manicure!"

When I got there the woman taking care of Andie looked at my toes and more or less shamed me into a "polish change," but once they had me in the chair she brought out the clippers and (shudder) nail file.

I worked in salons for a long time and I can't even stand to WITNESS someone filing toenails. It's not an aversion, it's not discomfort, it's physical pain.

Now, my toes DO look fabulous. But I'm in the chair and I'm trying really hard not to kick the poor girl in the face for touching my toes in the first place and she's saying, "See? This no hurt!"
I said, "But it does hurt. That's why my face looks like this."
"No!" She insisted, "I no hurt you."
Um, yes you fucking are.

Look, I have a very high pain tolerance. I really do. (I can provide references if you want!) After my tattoo I was high for HOURS. But I will admit that if I held important secrets we'd all just better hope the enemy doesn't have toenail clippers.

I got the WORST part of the whole pedicure experience without the benefit of the massaging, relaxing part.

But my toes are sure purty... I am going to try to schedule a real pedicure next time and just suffer through the toenail part. Maybe I can learn to tolerate it... you know, like I learned to tolerate peas, country music and idiots.

The manicure place also does waxing, which made me really happy because I have been thinking a lot about my eyebrows. I try to keep up with the tweezers, but lately I've been looking an awful lot like Fozzy Bear.
And I LOVE a good waxing... the warm wax on your skin and then RRRRRRRRIIIIPPPPPPPPP! Sigh. So yay me, I look like a girl again instead of some scraggly Fozzy Bear. (And this place is DIRT cheap and gooooooood). I forgot how refreshing it can be to have careful nails and bare skin.

Now I feel so pretty and happy. A little varnish, a little wax and I'm a whole new girl.