Sometimes you just have to eat a Snickers Bar

I'm crying in the car again. I've been here before - there isn't time in my day to allow myself to break down and the only time I am alone is in the car, so I get settled in and buckle my seatbelt and something in me just lets go and I start crying. It usually lasts about ten or fifteen minutes - which is more or less exactly how long it takes to get anywhere in this city.

Maybe I am crazytown.

After yesterday the husband and I were both ready for the funny farm. (Are there sheep at the funny farm??). Anyway. He spent the day at Casa Loco (aka, his parent's house) and I spent the evening at pledge drive producing Sir Megalomania Ass-Clown (aka, Smarmy McSnottyPants). I got home and we talked about his parents for almost three hours. I comforted him and told him he was doing really well... he comforted me and told me that I should not take the insults of Sir Ass-Clown so personally. Then we comforted eachother (and that is all I'm going to say about that).

This morning I woke groggy and headachy... I was running late but I stopped at Starbucks anyway. I love Starbucks. I hate that I love Starbucks. They are pretty much symbolic of everything that is wrong with our country. Mass-produced, mass-marketed, faceless exploitative consumerism. (They do make a damn good latte). Sterile, personality-free, cookie-cutter den of waste. (And their chairs are really comfy - and have you tried the blueberry scones??) Fuck. (And they have a Drive-Thru). Fine. Starbucks rocks. Yay Starbucks. Ok? (Thank you). Jeez.

Moving right along, nothing to see here...

My patient load at Hospice more than doubled today. I think that's ok. Nothing is ok this week, but his week is almost over.
It IS almost over, right?? Thursday, Friday, Saturday and the Pledge Drive is over. (Woo HOO!!)
But next week I can start back in with the rest of my life and work on the house and be the greatest student in the world.
And I will make it through the next three days and the three days after that, right?
And I will not let my mother in law or Smarmy McSnottyPants make me lose my cool, right?
And I will not start crying and never ever stop, right?

But now? Headache in full-force and pumped full of caffeine and so frickin' tired? Snickers. Must eat Snickers.