Panty Problems

Yesterday morning I woke up late. What a shocker, right? I mean, awake until 3 am plus a quarter of a xanax plus getting up at 6:45 and I was late?? Wow.

So I couldn't find clean underpants in the clean underpants stack that my husband keeps restocking. I went into the den to search through the huge pile of clean laundry on the couch that provides him with clean underpants to fold and stack for me. I searched and searched and searched. Nothing. Meanwhile, it's getting later and later and later.

I went back to the bedroom and stuck my hand deep into the drawer and came up with a pair of black, silky, lacy underpants. I am not a black silky lacy underpants kind of girl. Unless I only have to wear them for a short time, you know, for effect. A-hem. But I put them on, knowing full well that they were going to misbehave and not stay where they were put. Underpants that are not my favorite big, cottony friends tend to roll down in the front and rest on my c-section scar. Not a good feeling. What I didn't know about these particular not big, not cotton panties is that they would also roll backwards.

Seriously. It's a damn good thing I wore pants yesterday and not a skirt.

I'm walking (quickly because I'm late) to my classroom and suddenly I was thinking, "Oh dear.
Oh, no, no, no, no." (Hitch left, hitch right, roooooooollllllllllllll).
I went into the ladies room and set them firmly back in their place. They stayed put long enough for me to be in class... then I went straight to Target and bought a new package of big, white cotton panties. I normally would never wear underpants without washing them first, but a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do, so I also bought some panty liners.

I think panty liners are the most unappreciated things in the world! They make great bandages, they're small and portable and they have gotten me out of all kinds of potentially bad situations.

Anyway, last night the husband did three loads of laundry and restocked my clean underpants stack. God I love that man.