Job Update the Millionth...

So I'm at work and not entirely sure what I should be doing right now. I'm trying to settle in, but I feel like I'm on a third date with a really great guy and a longtime crush has asked for my phone number. Is it worth disrupting the nice, stable relationship with a perfectly nice guy to try someone I've said I always wanted but really don't know very well?

Oy. I wish I was talking about boys.

Alas, no, I am talking about jobs. After months (and months) of no job showing much interest in me beyond the first date, four want to schedule a second date. I turned three of those down, but one of the organizations who wants an interview?

The VA. It's the social work equivalent of The Holy Grail and The Brass Ring all wrapped up in good benefits and a nice retirement plan. Dammit.

I'm going on the interview and we'll see, but the not knowing is making it that much more difficult for me here. I feel like a liar. I want to be jumping in with both feet and immersing myself in the culture here, but at the same time I don't want to get to attached - just in case. I love this job. And I love (love love love) my co-workers and my boss... and I feel like I'm cheating on them. They think I'm in this for the long haul. Because I told them I was.

To be fair, what I actually said in response to their worry that I would jump ship as soon as something in Wichita opened up was, "Unless something five minutes from my house offers me twice what you're offering you have nothing to worry about."

Oh yes. I said that. I tempted fate again. In my second interview here. I pretty much said that if The VA offered me something I'd run. Well? How the fuck was I supposed to know they'd call?? I can turn down offers from Comcare for this job, I can turn down offers from everyone else in town except the VA.

The worst part? The job that's open? Is not at all what I want to do. In fact, this position has had at least two people in as many years. It's one of the highest burnout rates in the system. But you know what happens to someone who burns out in the VA?? They transfer to a better position. So this job I don't want could turn into a great job I DO want.

If they offer it.
If I take it.

Maybe the interview will suck and I can stop thinking about it and settle in here for real. Oh who am I kidding?? After two years of bad, good things are finally starting to happen and with TOTALLY bad timing.