Hope is a Four-Letter Word

Today was really frustrating and also really productive. Funny how often those things go together. I went to the DMV and the Tag Office and rounded that out with a trip to the VA.

Ack.

I also opened up a can of worms with the step mother... that started out ugly and ended up weird, but I think some progress has been made. I just need for the next 5 years to not be as hostile as the last year has been. Turns out there was a lot of supposition under the hostility. What a surprise. Communication breakdown is often just a matter of misinterpretation that gets reinforced.
Neither of us is interested in being friends, but I think (hope) we at least agree that we are both interested in an end to the needless and unproductive drama.

Then Bean and her friend K and I met Andie for Star Trek... which was fantastic, by the way. But on our WAY to the movie I got a call back about an application. I have an interview on Tuesday. There is so much relief for me just in the call back. I am NOT invisible to the employers out there!!

I have been looking at the agency website and this is not necessarily where I thought my career would take me, but I have thought that before and it all turned out to be fine. Also? I have to start somewhere, and experience is experience. No matter where I end up I am confident that it will be a good learning experience and that I can be an asset.

So I feel pretty good about myself tonight.

Which, of course, makes me wary.

There is that back burner issue that is eating away at me. I don't know how to solve it (yes I do) and while I know how it's probably going to play out I keep hoping for a Hail Mary play at the last minute.

How do you let go of something that you want, even when you know that its not possible? How do you stop waiting for the white horse? How do you kill the hope tied to one thing without killing the rest of your hope along with it?