Me and Marriage

Wow I'm boring these days... I do have a little rant though. Wanna hear it?

Good.

(Spoiler alert: I'm going to talk about He's Just Not That Into You. But if you are one of those people who knows that when you see a gun in act 1 someone's going to be shot in act 3 I'm not spoiling anything that you won't figure out VERY early on. Also? If you're one of those people? Don't see this movie).

So among the things that irritated me about this movie, there is a relationship between Jennifer Anniston (who I still love. Call me, Jen!) and Ben Affleck (who is basically a placeholder, right? I mean, nobody still thinks he can act, right?) that borders on the non-traditional in a way that I respond to. They have (at the beginning of the movie) been together for 7 years and he has been very clear about the fact that he loves her but he does not ever want to get married. That he would happily spend the rest of his life with her, just not married. She has outwardly accepted this situation and they have been happy... until her younger sister gets married. Suddenly they're having "the talk."

At this point I'm not irritated. Needs change. I get that.
So they break up.
Still not irritated.
Later in the movie she realizes that marriage is not the most important thing, that she loves him, blah blah blah... and she says she can live with no marriage.

I'm excited at this point. That never happens in movies. Movies are all about the happy ending, and not being married is a sad ending. I'm thinking, "way to celebrate diversity in relationships!"

Then, of course, he proposes.
Granted, needs change, and as we don't ever get a reason for his reluctance to marry we're not sure why he feels the way he does or how easily those feelings could reasonably be swayed... but I was really happy for the shout out to non-traditional relationship structuring.

For the obvious reason.

I have written about this marginalization of status before... but it still amazes me that choosing not to marry is such a revolutionary concept given the current divorce rates.

I know that there are a lot of people out there who still believe that after a sufficient time has passed I will decide to try marriage again... I have more or less stopped trying to convince them otherwise, because they're not going to believe me and because while I am a remarkable woman, I can not see into the future. It is possible that my needs will change. Doubtful, but possible.

Here are the things I know to be true on the subject of Me and Marriage:
1. Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me.
2. Marriage works very, very well for some people... 20% or so.
3. I am not in that 20%.
4. Given my history, a risk-benefit analysis says "Just Say No!"
5. I am happier and more settled in my current relationship than I ever have been. I don't know if this is perspective or age or if he is, in fact, is The One. And I don't care... today it works, today I'm happy.
6. If my needs change and I somehow "need" to be married again it will not involve That Bad, Bad Man. Unlike the guy in the movie, I totally understand his decision to never try it again and I completely respect it.
7. I promised Bean I wouldn't do it again.

But the problem with a nontraditional approach to anything is that there are no socially prescribed rules and roles...
So basically I'm flyin' blind out here. Good thing I don't tend to over-analyze or anything!!