Poking around

I keep thinking that there must be something exciting to write about... but so far there's nothing. It's been a really quiet few days.
I enjoy unexciting and quiet.

I have been sort of down, I wouldn't say that I am depressed... just a little low these days. Partially holiday letdown, I'm sure, but also I have been thinking about Jeff. I think the anger is gone and now all there is left is the sad. I'm sad about everything that we were supposed to have.
I know this will pass, it's all just part of the process.

I have been too reliant on other people to "make me feel better," using food and shopping and sex as ways around feeling bad. Sometimes it's important to just feel bad. Sort of like when you eat something bad it's better to just let your body, um, get rid of it rather than trying to treat the symptoms. So now that it all happened "last year," rather than trying to feel better I'm trying to move past the survivor stage and start living a life that I love again. Time to actually get better.

In the interest of self-care and realignment I went to Bohemia yesterday for acupuncture and massage. When I sat down for the consultation she said, "What's going on?
ans I started crying. So apparently? A lot.

Everyone should get acupuncture.

It wasn't at all painful, but it was emotionally cleansing and intense. Physically I have been in denial of some of my pain issues. Emotionally I was not in denial, but I needed a release. And I got it. Or at least the start of it.

After my session I felt, well, high. I went to Twist to get my senses back, then to Caffe Moderne for dinner. Then I went home and slept for almost seventeen hours. It was lovely.