Selfish Knitting and B&B Fun

I have never kept a New Year's Resolution. Never. Not once.
I have resolved to lose weight, to exercise more, to read more "real literature," to stop eating fast food, to be nicer to people... once I resolved not to say bad things about someone we (still) refer to as "Laura the Twat." (That quickly got modified to "I won't say anything bad about her unless it's really funny).

I really thought this year would be different. I resolved to have a "year of selfish knitting" in which I would only knit things for myself.

On the needles right now I have a hat for Bean, a sweater for Marianne's daughter, two (count 'em) TWO mystery knitting projects and have just planned for a third small knitting giftie. I also have the Oblique sweater on the needles, and that is for me...

WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?!? I can't even stick to SELFISH resolutions.

I am knitting these three mystery projects (2 small and one BIG - all 3 for people who read this blog, so shhhhhhhhhh) to express something about myself and my feelings for these people, and I guess if there has ever been a year in my life when I needed to make sure that the people who love me know that I love them right back it's this year.

In which case there is a whole lot of "I love you" knitting that needs to be planned...

In other news I keep having these disaster dreams - you know, the world is ending or some faceless band of "bad guys" is coming after me. In every one there is a moment where I am wasting time looking for my shoes, and in every one there is some friend of Jeff's - usually James - who reassures me that Jeff did know that I still loved him when he died, but that his death was still completely my fault.
Nice, right?

Bean and I have been talking about my "weekend of blackness" and I don't think I completely traumatized her... she said she wasn't worried, but her plan was to call that Bad, Bad Man if I didn't perk up soon. I told her she sould clear that with him, as he may want to limit his involvement in my crazy. She said, "Well he is the guy you're dating right now." I said, "No, we are not dating. He is just the bad, bad man in my life." I also told her that I was certain that my "weekend of blackness" was limited to that weekend and that I would not let it get so bad in the future.

Speaking of that Bad, Bad Man... we are getting another weekend soon. When I called to reserve our room at the B&B she said, "And your husband's name?" My standard response, "Oh, he's dead" didn't seem appropriate and I was a little stunned by the assumption that there would be another person with me and that person must not only be male, but also my husband. I stammered a little... I was like, "Um, he's, um, we're not, um, he's not my..." Finally she stepped in and said, "What's the name of the other person staying in the room." I told her his name and then said, "Please don't call him my husband when he's there. He might leave or something." She laughed and said, "Oh, one of those."

"Yes, actually, one of those. And I like him that way, so back off!" Is what I replied. On the inside.

Frankly, if he wasn't one of those we wouldn't be having a nice weekend together. He would be off planning a weekend with some girl who wants a husband and I would be... well... probably planning a weekend at another B&B with Sally somewhere between a yarn store and a cafe, or planning a trip with The Fabulous Michelle somewhere naughty.