In Which My Passive-Aggressive Side Shines:

Well hello, PMS!
No, no, please make yourself at home. It's not like I had anything else to do today... and I rather enjoy the 4-day migraine and the cramping and the mood swings. They just remind me how amazing and mystifying nature really is.
No! Really! Please just sit there, and don't mind me while I chew my fingernails to nubs and lash out mindlessly at those around me. And when I start crying there is a box of Kleenex behind you there. Just pass them over. If it's not to much trouble.
The cravings? Well, for the most part I can handle that... but - and not that I want to complain or anything - could we at least do away with the waves of depression?
No?
Oh. Well, OK. I was just thinking my time might be better spent thinking something other than half homicidal, half suicidal thoughts all day... but whatever you think is best.
I'm going to try to get some work done, so just, you know, settle in and I'll try to work around you!