Scattered

(I'm all over the place today, people, bear with me, ok??)

It's Over!! Pledge Drive is Over!!!

I'm still here at the crack of early. But I can leave at noon and go buy paint, and I can take some time "off" next week and pack. I say "off" because it's not like I can stay home all day and actually accomplish much. I'll still have to go to Hospice, and I'll still have to go to work for about an hour a day for the automation... but I will work my butt off to try to be ready to roll by the 20th.

I still need to call the movers.

We did not make goal - we're off by about $1500. But that means we raised $163,500 - so that's not so bad. I did not stay to the end as I have done in past drives. I went home yesterday at about 1:30, kissed my husband and went back to sleep. He woke me a few hours later and tempted me with Memphis BBQ... and a movie. He never wants to go to a movie. It was nice to spend time with him - we even managed to talk about something besides his dad - a treat for both of us. I let him pick the movie so we saw The Grudge 2. CREEPY CREEPY CREEPY! I spent part of the movie hiding behind my hair and whispering "I don't like the creepy sound" to my husband. (After we bought the tickets and were heading to the theatre he told me he also wanted to see Marie Antoinette. Shithead). Of course, now I'm all alone in the creepy radio station. Jeez. It was pretty good - for a sequel - but it really didn't have much of a plot to it. It was mostly a bridge to the possibility of The Grudge 3. But the popcorn was really fresh and we were home in time for me to fall asleep to SNL.

I would have knitting pictures to post but my stupid camera is out of stupid batteries. So tomorrow (or at least the next time I post) I should have pictures of a sock, a scarf and a hat. More or less all I did last week was knit and pitch. Oh, and eat. It's not a bad way to spend eight days. I told my mom that I couldn't wait until pledge drive was over so I could stop working 15-hour days. Every day wasn't that bad.

But It's OVER!! It's OVER!!

I haven't been to my house since last Sunday and I have no idea what all my parents have been up to. I guess I'll find out today! I'm buying many many buckets of paint and I'm going over there around 2 (despite the fact that right now I want to go back to bed and sleep for a month). I just want to move in. I want to be done with the yucky rental house we're in now, I want to be done with the landlord, done with the leaking front room, done with the icky carpet. I want to get settled and find the new flow of my life. I want to make dinner in my new kitchen. I want to eat in my dining room with my family and without a TV. I want to sit in my living room with my kitty and knit. I want to do a load (or six) of laundry in my clean, bright laundry room. I want to do load (or six) of dishes in my dishwasher.

(Sigh).

So, Halloween! Is anyone dresing up? They said we could dress up at Hospice (but no scary, political or sexy costumes. No Grim Reapers, no GeorgeW's, no French Maids). I'm not actually at Hospice on Tuesdays and I know that nobody from the station will dress up. Maybe I'll just wear my tiara. You know, just for fun. I'll be at Andie's that night, eating chili on her front porch (in my tiara) and knitting. (With paint in my hair and a song in my heart).
Oh, and lots of chocolate.

Sometimes you just have to eat a Snickers Bar

I'm crying in the car again. I've been here before - there isn't time in my day to allow myself to break down and the only time I am alone is in the car, so I get settled in and buckle my seatbelt and something in me just lets go and I start crying. It usually lasts about ten or fifteen minutes - which is more or less exactly how long it takes to get anywhere in this city.

Maybe I am crazytown.

After yesterday the husband and I were both ready for the funny farm. (Are there sheep at the funny farm??). Anyway. He spent the day at Casa Loco (aka, his parent's house) and I spent the evening at pledge drive producing Sir Megalomania Ass-Clown (aka, Smarmy McSnottyPants). I got home and we talked about his parents for almost three hours. I comforted him and told him he was doing really well... he comforted me and told me that I should not take the insults of Sir Ass-Clown so personally. Then we comforted eachother (and that is all I'm going to say about that).

This morning I woke groggy and headachy... I was running late but I stopped at Starbucks anyway. I love Starbucks. I hate that I love Starbucks. They are pretty much symbolic of everything that is wrong with our country. Mass-produced, mass-marketed, faceless exploitative consumerism. (They do make a damn good latte). Sterile, personality-free, cookie-cutter den of waste. (And their chairs are really comfy - and have you tried the blueberry scones??) Fuck. (And they have a Drive-Thru). Fine. Starbucks rocks. Yay Starbucks. Ok? (Thank you). Jeez.

Moving right along, nothing to see here...

My patient load at Hospice more than doubled today. I think that's ok. Nothing is ok this week, but his week is almost over.
It IS almost over, right?? Thursday, Friday, Saturday and the Pledge Drive is over. (Woo HOO!!)
But next week I can start back in with the rest of my life and work on the house and be the greatest student in the world.
And I will make it through the next three days and the three days after that, right?
And I will not let my mother in law or Smarmy McSnottyPants make me lose my cool, right?
And I will not start crying and never ever stop, right?

But now? Headache in full-force and pumped full of caffeine and so frickin' tired? Snickers. Must eat Snickers.

Pink, Pledge Drive and Denial

Someone found this CD at the station - it's a promotional copy that nobody else claimed, so it's mine! Score!
That would be one benefit to working in radio - free stuff. Occasionally free stuff that you can dance to. I got a copy of Weird Al's most recent CD to take home to the husband. I don't know what kind of radio station the people in promotions think we are! We get the strangest assortment of music. The only live shows we have are classical, gospel and jazz. Everything else gets distributed among the employees.

We're still in pledge drive and I'm skipping class (again) to be on the air. I seriously hope I pass my classes this year. I guess if I don't I can just go work at Target - I'm management material, right? Of course, I would have to tuck my red shirt into my khaki pants to work at Target and I am not a "fat girl who tucks anyway." Hmmmm. I'll have to read the employee manual and see if there is a way around that.
So my parents are rocking and rolling on my house! I have been working until 9 every night (for those of you who are counting, that's 60 hours at the station in the last 5 days) and we are scheduled to end on Saturday night. ANYWAY, my parents have been working on the walls of my house and my dad is going to pick our carpet and stuff. I know that sounds weird, but he has this design gift that I do not possess. He is a color genius. Oh, and honestly? I don't give a crap about the carpet in the den - beige carpet all looks the same to me. All I rally care about is that it is stain resistant. And the kitchen floor is basically the same thing - as long as it's neutral I don't really care. I'm sure that someday I'll have enough(time) (energy) (design sense) to want specific carpet/linoleum but right now I just want to move in.
My dad said last night that the walls should be ready to paint by Sunday so I'm going to hope for a second wind on Saturday and I'll buy paint and stuff and paint like a crazy person on Sunday. (Hey Lara? You free on Sunday?? K? Anyone else want to paint like crazy people?? I'll order pizza and we can listen to my new Pink CD!!)

What else is going on? Oh! My mother in law is nuts. (Nothing new here). She is mad that her house is "turning into a hospital" and that there are "people in and out all day long" and (my personal favorite) "they're screwing over the insurance company getting all of this help when he's really not that sick." (WHA????).
First of all, the medical equipment is stuff like, um, an OXYGEN machine so he can breathe better at night and sleep. The people in and out of the house are there to take some of the burden off of her and he IS TOO that sick! Denial, denial, denial!
I talked to their case manager and she said if they keep refusing HHA visits and nursing visits their insurance will stop covering Hospice.
AHHHHHHH!!
So then I called my mother in law - just to chat, don'tcha know? Everything is fine. Uh-huh. So I dig in a little deeper. Well, it's tiring. Uh-huh. So I dig in a little more. Maybe you need to talk to someone. She doesn't want to talk to someone.
Know what, Lady? I don't want you to use my husband as your own personal sounding board. It makes him feel like crap and then I have to deal with what's left of him when you're done...
What I actually said was something like, "I'm just concerned that talking to him is causing some trouble between you. Maybe having another person who can listen to what you have to say without being an emotional part of the problem would be beneficial to everyone."

Sigh.

I need a drink.
And a vacation.
And a magic wand.

Fortune tellers and odd dreams

I'm back at work again... I left here last night around 11pm and it's just after 6am. (Did I mention that I hate pledge drive??)

Yesterday we had a phone volunteer who also read palms. I had never had my palm read - it was sort of interesting. I was skeptical... the first thing she said was that I am very creative and passionate about my creativity. (Duh, I was sitting down there with my knitting, lamenting that I only brought two projects to work on). But she said that I was facing a change in careers (go on,) and that the new career would take me away from my family in some way (you mean like right now? I feel like I never see either of them). She also said I had the potential to have more kids. I said, "No, we don't." She looked at me and said, "Stop thinking about it."
There was more stuff, but those are the highlights.

I had a dream last night that Kerri called me and told me she decided to move to Alaska. For some reason my husband was gone... I had Bean and two little kids in the back of the car and I was sitting at a red light and I looked back at them and said to Kerri, "Sure, we'll come!" I didn't even go home, we just started to drive. At some point I stopped at a Wal Mart for supplies (sleeping bags? check. Granola bars and juice boxes? check. Diapers?!? check.) and left Bean and the other kids in the car (which I would never do) and at some point I left a message for my mom that we were leaving. I think I woke up and fell back asleep - you know how that shifts dreams sometimes - and I was still moving to Alaska with Kerri and my three (?!?) kids, (funny that the fact that I had 3 kids is more incredible to me than the fact that my husband might be gone and that Kerri and I might decide to move to Alaska) - but this time I was calling other people trying to get them to move with us. Everyone I called was married and I was basically asking them to leave their spouse. It wasn't until the third person I called that I realized this - I realized that what I was doing might be perceived by the other spouse as a teeny bit hostile...
What does it all mean? I mean, besides the fact that I had a really busy (and slightly emotional) day and my poor little brain needed to dump some crap?

I started the Tychus hat again yesterday and have had to frog parts of it twice now. Don't tell Kerri - I've been telling her how obscenely easy it is. (Hi, Kerri? I think that was in my dream, too. The hat is fine! No problems here!!) Seriously, both times it was because I stopped paying attention to my pattern. I still have a couple of hours before anyone but Andie will be here so I'm going to deal with what's left of the hat. It WILL be finished. So will Andie's pledge drive socks. At the vary least it will help me stay awake!!

Yikes!!

I forgot my camera so I won't be posting any pictures today... I have forgotten a lot of things today.
Scarf? What scarf?? I finished a table runner recently... a short one for my yarn trunk... I don't know anything at all about a scarf.
Hmmmmm....
I did start Andie's pledge drive socks... Crusoe again, baby. I forgot how much I love that sock!!
But that means that pledge drive has begun... help!! HELP!!!! I'm working every night until 9, which means that the husband and Bean will turn feral and start eating M&M's for dinner. (Maybe they'll at least eat Peanut M&M's and get some protein).

Pledge drive is going well so far - we're ahead of schedule a little. And lunch totally ROCKED!! Pledge drive means a lot of food and a lot of coffee and a lot of time at the station. It means a lot of extra work and a lot of tired and a lot of crazy busy. It means I don't have time to paint my walls or pack any boxes, and it means that I am going to be frickin' exhausted by next Sunday.

Send wine... no, coffee... no, wine.

Send sleep.

My Monday...

So we've been scraping wallpaper from the dining room walls. It's a long, dirty process as we have not been able to get the guy who borrowed the steamer to return it... There were three or four layers of paint over three layers of wallpaper over this charming aqua paint. Here's my dining room wall as of right now:

I'm sort of digging it. It's "squatter chic". All we need now is some graffiti and maybe a broken bong and a burn mark or blood stain or something on the floor.

Yeah, right?

Nope. We need the steamer. And a sander. And a beer.

I think we'll be able to paint soon. I picked out the living room color and we're going a shade darker for the dining room... very very soon I'll be posting the "after" pic.
It is really fun to be doing something to make the house "ours" - you know, other than the loan and the title. My mom has been a huge help and y'all know about my dad. Gotta love the parents. I don't know how much of it is that they feel like they have to go above and beyond after the whole saving-my-sister fiasco. I wasn't all that quiet about how much I resented how much help she got without asking or appreciating it. They have never helped me paint or move or anything before. I'm sure that part of it is that they're excited about the first home thing, but my sister's situation has clouded how I feel about their help. Maybe I'm being too sensitive. (Maybe??) It is entirely possible that they have always intended to be this involved. Maybe not. It doesn't really matter. I so appreciate the help and advice and it's fun to have this kind of time with them.
Here's what else I did today:

I went to Kerri's house to watch (and heckle) The Bachelor and What About Brian? and started working on a scarf. Yes, this is the "Thank You" handspun from Julie. Yes, it is a dream to work with - it's so soft. I don't know exactly what I'm doing - I started with basket weave and then decided that was too dense for a whole scarf and so I did some k2tog, yo just for fun. Now I'm in stockinette land... I don't know what to do next... I don't want to run out before it's long enough. Maybe I'll frog it and start over with some larger needles. The yarn is so pretty and soft that I really want it to be light and airy - hmmmmmm.
I know you can't really see the needles but I got my KnitPicks Options needles today. Seriously, all of you holding out for the peer reviews? Buy the frickin' needles. The join is really smooth and the needles feel really good.
And it was fun to get them all situated in their little case.
I have a problem. Seriously.
I need a distraction so that I don't stay up and knit all night, starting eight or nine new projects just so I can try out all of the needle sizes - you know, because I can.

(Oooooh, Halloween candy! Score!)

Eat, Knit, Live

Here's another picture of my 'thank you' yarn from Julie. It's just so pretty, I had to show it again. It makes me want to learn to dye and spin so that I can create something this special!!

I will eventually load it into the ball winder and knit something from it, but right now I just want to look at it.

(~le sigh~)

Here's my WIP... well, one of them. Bean's "Hot and Cold" log cabin blanket just grows and grows. Each panel is about 1 1/2 inches wide which makes the current dimensions about 30x36.

The picture doesn't really do it justice.

It's really soft and has a nice weight to it. It's made from plain old Sugar and Spice cotton, so unless I need to buy more to finish it that's a whole blanket for less than $20. Not bad at all, eh?

And it's been really relaxing to knit. Row after row after row of garter stitch.



These are my breakfast choices for today... I feel sort of MPD about it ("Sybil, what would you like for breakfast - energy bar and V8? Sun Chips, strawberry mini-Newtons and a Diet Dr. Pepper?" "Yes, please"). In my defense, both the Newtons and the Sun Chips have whole grains.

It looks like a lot, but I won't be eating it all at once. This is my grazing selection for the morning, and I'm here from 6am until noon.

At noon I have a lunch date at my favorite bookstore/cafe in the world. The only problem is that I have to decide what to eat. It's all good... they have a really great salad sampler plate... they should do that with their sandwiches. Then I wouldn't have to decide! When I go with Andie or Bean we get different sandwiches and share, but I'm going with another friend and she might think that's weird.

After lunch I'm going back to the new house to work some more. Jeez-o my arms are sore!! I scraped most of the wallpaper from the dining room. I also spent a lot of last night coughing - I'm guessing it's due to the enormous amount of old wall paper dust I inhaled.

I love my dad. He's so proud of the fact that we're buying a house - and he's so cute about it.
"You need to get some new carpet in here before you move in," says dad.
"Well sure, but we're going to have to prioritize dad. We can't afford to do it all now."
"Well, I know a guy who owes me a favor. He can get some carpet in here for you."

We had this conversation about the kitchen floor, too. Oh, and the cabinets. Seems my dad has been installing granite in the homes and businesses of some very nice people who happen to own home improvement-type businesses. When these people ask how much they owe him for the job them he's been saying, "Well, my daughter is buying a house and she's going to need some help fixing it up. I'll let you know what we need." It's good to have connections.
It's not going to be Extreme Home Makover or anything... and we'll be paying for installation for most of it... but wow.

It feels good to have started on it and it also feels good to have a plan of attack. My mom and dad came over to help a little and mom's coming back again today. Dad is going to show us how to fix the cracks near the door frames on Monday. My parents are really good at this whole home improvement thing and I love that they want to be involved.

Anyway, off to do some actual work.
House pics tomorrow if I can get time to post!