Christmas Has Landed

We finally put the tree up. There are even presents under it now, though there are only cats under it in these pictures. Artificial tree-eating cats.
I had one of those uncharacteristic bursts of Christmas-related energy and pulled out the box and in ten minutes total tree!


("What? I was only nibbling on the outside bits!")





singing("If I lay here... if I just lay here, will you ignore me and let me eat the tree...")

I also had trouble sleeping last night, so I went to Wal Mart at about 3:30 to start/finish my Christmas Shopping. There are a few things I want to say about that...

1. Wal Mart is actually bearable at 3:30 am. Except that they are an evil corporation that exploits their workers and preys on small, locally-owned stores. But if you have to go, 3:30 am is not entirely a bad time to go.
2. My sister has way too many fucking kids. Which is not entirely true. She has four, which is not, you know, sixteen or anything. My friend Lara has four kids and I don't think she has too many. Of course, there is a HUGE ginormous difference between Lara and my sister. Which is to say that Lara could have ten kids and I wouldn't think a thing about it. Also I don't have to buy Lara's kids nice, equally priced Christmas presents. Also, Lara's kids wouldn't open their presents, look at me blankly and say, "Is this it?"
3. For as sucky as it apparently is to work at Wal Mart the 3rd shift crew seems to have a really good time. They were playing around with the floor-polisher and 2 guys were actually playing "hockey" with plastic sticks and a stuffed bear. They did have the sense to look sheepish when they realized I was watching them and that they were in my way. And the cashier was really nice - much nicer than the ones who typically are working at 3:30 pm.

More bad weather is on the way. We're supposed to get 2 - 7 inches of show in the next 24 hours. Which means my massage got cancelled. She would have to drive in from a small town about an hour from here and she's got more than two gravel roads to navigate... and she'd be driving home around 10 pm so I don't blame her for cancelling. But I'm not happy about it.

Andie and Bean and I are going to get some Chinese food and see The Golden Compass instead.

Down Doo-Bee-Doo Down Down

This is more than holiday blah and even my fierce Cymbalta is not up to this mood.
All I want to do is sleep. I'm not even knitting or reading.
I even want to cancel my massage appointment for Friday - it just seems like too much work. (To much work. To lay naked on a table and let the fabulous Michelle rub oil into my skin).

So I'm forcing myself to make lunch dates (thank you Sally) and go to the holiday party on Saturday night just to keep myself vertical. I am going to break one of the mandates in my manifesto and go to Target on Friday and buy myself a new iPod. And then I'm going to download Family Guy so I can watch it whenever I want.

On Saturday I'm going to go through the fabulous submissions to the UGLY SCARF contest and assign winners.
First Prize is (up to) $25 (not including shipping) from Yarn Lust
Second Prize is (up to) $15 (not including shipping) from Shelly Dyes Yarn

If you are not a yarn-y person I will substitute a comparable GC to Amazon.com
If you are a yarn-y person and would rather shop at Twist I'll substitute that as well!

Clear as mud?!?

Get those submissions in!!

Snow Day

... Well, ice day anyway. And also? I still have to work.
It's been raining since yesterday and this morning I scraped a slushie off of the windows of my truck. By the time I leave today it will probably have more heft to it. The schools actually closed today in anticipation of how bad it's supposed to get this afternoon.

But right now I'm warm and cozy at the station. Bean is with me today and we have soup and sandwiches waiting for us for lunch. I wish I had put a roast in the Crock Pot for dinner!!

And why did I bring Bean with me today?!? Wellllll..... last night I told her to watch the news to see if school was cancelled before she got ready this morning. Then she was running late so she thought that she missed her bus. Since it was raining and not actually icy I didn't think to double check the weather. She's 11, right? She can watch the weather and know if she has school, right?
Nope.
We got to the school and there was nobody there. I said, "Hey Bean? Notice anything interesting about school this morning?" She said, "We must be late because there's nobody in line for drop off."
Sigh.
She was apparently looking for the specific name of her school, rather than the district. I should have told her what to look for.
I should have double checked.
But they never - EVER - cancel school here. It's almost pathological.

I should have taken today off instead of yesterday. But it was so wonderful!! I slept for HOURS. And then I got up and ate lunch and then I napped until Bean came home and then we had dinner and then I went BACK TO SLEEP.

I know that sleeping that much is unhealthy and usually a sign of depression, but screw that. I love sleeping. More than chocolate.

Also... I had another weird dream about my friend Darren. We were the age we are now, but we were in high school - only the high school was in the elementary school we went to... we were taking our finals. For most of the dream we were sending each other text messages. And there was something about tacos. But I'm sure that was meaningless. Right? Most of the time a taco is just a taco. Right?

Anyway, wish me luck on the drive home! I'm not worried about my driving - and I loooooove my truck in weather like this - but this kind of weather makes about half of the idiots in this town lose what's left of their minds. It's like they think that they will be safer if they drive fast enough to get away from all of the other cars on the road. Morons.

Books!!

Today I arrived at work to find a package waiting for me!! I love the online ordering frenzy that hist me right before Christmas. I also love that the weeks of extra shifts have made it possible to do this without losing my house!! Exhausting but worth it.
Like last year, I can't seem to order for other people without tacking a little something on for myself... This time it is books - from Zooba though, so not even all that expensive!
These are the books I found for Bean:























And these I found for myself:





Ignore the Amazon.com markings and buy from your local, independent bookseller. Or Zooba.

I tend to buy more at my local bookstore, but I can't get away from the great Zooba prices. It's sort of like my new yarn purchases... I buy a large percentage of my yarn at Twist, but I still make the occasional Knitpicks purchase. I believe in local businesses and I believe in independent sellers, but I can't stay away from a really good deal!

I still have quite a bit of my list to get through... and no idea what to get for my dad.
I meant what I wrote the other day: I am NOT going to great lengths this year to find the "perfect" gifts... but if I can get close without making myself crazy I'm all about it.

Well, I'm off to read.

Christmas - My Way

*This year I'm giving up on the idea that I will actually knit for anyone who doesn't live in my house.
*This year I'm not buying ANY MORE wrapping paper. I don't care how cute the penguins are or how jolly the polar bears look. I have lots of paper at home. AND I know where it is. AND I also have tape.
*This year I am buying gifts online. If I can't buy it online you're getting a gift certificate. And that gift certificate better exist at places that I have to go anyway. If they don't sell Buffalo Wild Wings certificates at Wal Mart, Walgreens or Dillons you're not getting one.
*This year I am not baking any cookies. Or pies. Or cakes. If I am absolutely forced to I will unwrap a family-sized box of Rice Krispy Treats, cut them in half and put red and green frosting on them.
*This year I am not going to ANY STORE the week before Christmas. This might mean that I have to steal toilet paper from work and we order pizza more than once, but I'm willing to risk it.
*This year I am not decorating the whole house. There will be a tree, there will be a wreath. There will be a snowman candy dish, but only because I found it stashed in a closet and it's on the table already.
*This year if you photograph me and my underpants are showing or I have something hanging from my nose and you don't immediately delete the photograph I will put your camera in my car and drive away.

Merry Christmas.

Oh So Sleepy...

Y'all, I am so tired y'all, that I find myself thinking in Britney.

You know, no actual thoughts and all id on the uptake. Thoughts come through just about the time my body is finishing the action. I pulled into Quik Trip this morning even thought I hadn't intended on stopping - late for class again don't ya know. I bought chocolate milk instead of orange juice and had it open before I noticed. I've been on this weird chocolate milk kick lately. I'm not sure where that is coming from... unless the "adult me" is actually asleep and the "5-year-old" me is running the show. Which is totally possible.

Speaking of Britney... This weekend was weird. A girl I knew from Alabama called the ex looking to "re-connect" with us/him/me/us. Imagine her surprise when the person who was my "best friend" answered the phone and identified herself as the new wife! They said over and over that they didn't give her my phone number, but she called me three times that night. I just don't know. I haven't talked to her in almost 8 years... she got the boot with the other drama queens when I did my big drama purge. The last three or four times I talked to her were middle of the night phone calls begging for (and in one case demanding) large-ish sums of money. The last call was her telling me that she needed to abort my then-husband's baby and that I "owed" her the money. He had visited her several weeks before. I didn't ask him to confirm or deny - our marriage was over anyway at that point and he's not so good with the truth in the best of times. I just said "no" and cleared every cent out of the shared bank account in case he tried to do something stupid. (I doubt she was actually pregnant. My guess is that she had some kind of substance abuse issue. Her parents had all kinds of money and she was still living at home at the time).

I don't really have time in my life or space in my head to deal with any of that again.

The idiot step-mother was in a tizzy about it - all, "What does she want?!?" I just smiled because whatever she wants from him has nothing to do with me anymore. Hallelujah. I have more or less decided to just leave that door alone. I hope she's doing well, but the truth is I just want to be left alone.

I also found my friend Darren. On MySpace. Of all the fucking places. I actually had to create an account to say hey to him.
Fucking MySpace.

Can't sleep... Again

What is it with me and not sleeping?!? Sleeping is my favorite thing!!

Seriously, if you asked me to choose between thirty hours of sweet, uninterrupted sleep and a $150 gift certificates to Knitpicks and Twist... well, I'd take the gift certificates, obviously. Duh. Like I'm going to get 30 hours in a row just for sleeping! In fact, the husband actually WOKE ME UP today to ask me when I was getting up.
I know, right?
I don't even have the energy to go to the grocery store. And that's where they keep the food.

Monday and Tuesday I'm working both jobs... I have GOT to stop doing that. The money is so good that it's hard to walk away from, but by Wednesday I'm going to be a zombie. And I have to get my "beauty" sleep for Thursday because Twist is having a Fashion Show and I'm in it!! I'm going to model my Clapotis - because it's beautiful and also because it's the only FO I have that is not a sock.

The only other really exciting thing is that I am one class and one paper away from the END of this fucking semester. Remind me not to take any more classes on Monday mornings when I work Sunday until Midnight. Also? Remind me that I am this tired when I start talking about getting my PhD.

And you know I will. Unless I decide to study biology. (What?!?)

Though there are so many other things that I have to do after I finish the Master's degree that it might not happen for a long time. When I graduate I'll have an MSW (Masters in Social Work). Then there's the initial test for my license (LMSW) and then after that I get confused about what order the letters go in... but basically I work under someone for two years and then I can take another icky exam and (if I pass) be a master's level licensed clinical social worker.

But the whole development and chemistry of the brain is really interesting to me. And you know I'm not disciplined enough to study it on my own.

I'm not even disciplined enough to go to sleep when I should.
It's 3am and I am watching Mrs. Winterbourne. You know, the one with Rikki Lake and Brendan Frasier. Yup. That one.
If I go to sleep right now I can sleep for almost 5 whole hours.

'Night!