Grip

I have been cleaning.

I know.

But as of right now I can see the floor in more than HALF of my bedroom. Quite an accomplishment, sad to say.

I am trying to be mercenary with the clothes I have. I mean, do I really need two tye-dye pledge drive shirts that I don't ever wear? Do I really need fifteen purple t-shirts for anything? At one time I thought I'd make a t-shirt quilt... but I've had that sewing machine for almost a year and its been out of the box once. I even have a sewing table still in the box in my den, just waiting for me to put it together.

I could drown in a sea of saved purple t-shirts before that happens.

Last night Bean and I took a large garbage bag stuffed full of clothes to one of those drop-off bins. It felt really good to release those things into the void, so to speak. They are no longer my belongings - and that makes all of me feel lighter. That was just a very small, visually insignificant first step. By which I mean, if you came to my House you would not be able to tell that I had gotten rid of anything at all.

I think this has something to do with the show Hoarders... maybe...
I come from a long line of pack rats. My grandmother's house was a grand, crowded paradise full of things that might be useful. My dad (the donor) has weird sentimental collections and rows of CD's and movies. He has entire walls of his living room and dining room papered with photographs. China cabinets overflowing with inherited breakables.

I go to client's homes now and I think, "Wow. Buy a shovel, rent a dumpster." And then I would go home to my own glorious mess.

But it's a sickness. Even last night when I was cleaning I came across an empty pill bottle and put it on the "keep" pile. For what??? Why is it so hard to let go of things that are trash??

For a long time I thought I just needed to get a handle on cleaning and organizing... but I have (finally) come to terms with the fact that all the cleaning and organizing in the world will not save me from the fact that I have too much crap. It's not just clothes, obviously, but that's an easy place to start.

Clothes and cosmetics.

Oh yes. My mercenary hands will be rooting through hall closets and bathroom cabinets this evening along with the next round of clothes for donation. I do not need eight different kinds of hairspray... or ANY of the little sample-sized bottles (my biggest weakness) of everything else.

It's not going to happen all at once... but it's time to get a grip.